Before I came out publicly, I had people tell me that the sexism that women encounter would be a surprise and shock to my system. But as someone who at least tried to think critically about discrimination and the "isms" and "phobias," I thought I more or less understood what I would face. I didn't realize how much my own male privilege was blinding me to the extremity and the pervasiveness of sexism and harassment in society.
It is everywhere, from the subtle to the blatant. You are treated like both a delicate infant and a sexualized idol in the same instant. Your thoughts dismissed and emotions minimized. Your insecurities emphasized and your body objectified. The trivial and mundane decisions that I never had to think about when i would wake up before, now become central to avoiding a thousand judgments.
And what's worse is that we are either told we are acting like victims or that we should like it. That we should be flattered.
I suppose those are the defense mechanisms within our prejudices that allow us to never confront the racism and sexism in our world. You call out race and you're simply playing the race card. You call out sexism and you're weak or can't take a "compliment."
For many of you, nothing I'm saying is new. But for others, all I have to say is "it's real, it's everywhere, and, surprise, you are probably doing it."
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